I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
