You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
a search helicopter?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
