I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
