happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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