is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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