are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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