My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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