She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
