i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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