OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
