I want to have your abortion
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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