I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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