Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
