dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
