so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
