4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
