you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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