he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
