dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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