We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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