I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
