I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
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i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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