I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she smelled like a LAN party
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
