found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
