No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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