Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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