I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
