...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
why didn't you poke me back
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
