Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
