I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
