Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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