At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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