All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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