He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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