I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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