I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
