why didn't you poke me back
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize