Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
