Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
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please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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