Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
