woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
