He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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