When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
