I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he was CRYING into my vagina
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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