I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize