I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
