How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
