I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
