I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize