so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
