you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize