I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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