I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize