maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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