They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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