dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
