Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
