Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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