maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
