Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
